Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Workplace Conflict

At a recent workshop the theme was addressing conflict in the workplace
using the constellation approach. Some interesting insights emerged about the actual source of a conflict and how to address it unilaterally. It may take two to tango as some people are fond of saying but it only takes one to change the tune or the tempo or stop the dance all together: 

Vision Crossing

A professional was upset with her boss. He said all the right things about consultative leadership and the importance of open and honest feedback. He declared at staff meetings his door was open for input and feedback and anything else that would take the organization to the next level. She liked what he preached but felt in practice he dismissed out of hand her ideas, concerns or requests. She was continually frustrated with his lack of responsiveness. She was not the only person who felt unheard and disregarded and could always borrow a sympathetic ear for venting her complaints. But she also knew this cycle of frustration and complaining was a waste of her time and energy. She wanted to have more influence, but lacking that, at least find a way to be at peace with the situation. She was asked to pick a representative for herself and for her boss. Surprisingly, she was reluctant to do that out of fear of picking the wrong person. Two people volunteered and she set them up in the field.

                Boss                  Professional


After the representatives settled into the field the facilitator walked around the edge of the constellation and noticed something. He invited the professional to stand beside him and look at the representatives. Clearly they were looking at something in the distance, each in their own field of vision. Representatives were placed where they were looking. When the representative for the professional saw the vision had been placed where she was looking she smiled.

                               Boss                Professional



                             professional's     Boss's
                              vision                vision

The boss and the professional each had their own vision. The visions did not necessary conflict with each other, but it did mean their priorities would differ. All that mattered to the boss was his vision. He was not antagonistic to the vision of the professional. She could do whatever she wanted. He just did not want to be distracted from what he was focused on. This was a revelation to the professional. She had not realized she did not need her boss’s approval or praise to achieve her vision. He had already empowered her to do what she wanted to do. What she really wanted was his approval like a child would want the attentive approval of a parent. She did not actually need his attention to move towards her vision. If fact, if he was not so focused on his vision he might try to spend more time managing her, something that would not be to her advantage or liking.

Another person was placed in the middle of the group to represent the overlap between the two visions. As long as that person did not block the view the boss and professional had of their visions everyone felt fine with it. This arrangement worked for short time but the combined vision soon grew tired and felt the need to withdrawal.
The professional took the place of her representative in the constellation. Asked what she needed, she reported she felt she had the support and resources she required. She knew her boss represented the approval and attention her mother failed to give her, but she did not want to go into that. She felt ready to move forward and embrace her vision. She did just that and the constellation was complete.
Our next OC workshop in Falls Church, Virginia is October 24. Check out http://www.teambuildingassociates.com/ for more details