The media
had been filled with reports of rioting in Baltimore in May, 2015 sparked by
the death of a young black man in police custody. I didn’t have a crystal ball but the workshop
scheduled that month to explore the hidden dynamics of race suddenly became a
timely topic. More than
thirty people showed up; about a third African American; the rest Caucasian and
one woman from Afghanistan. Eight or nine people in the group were familiar
with constellation work. The rest had not heard of the process.
After
introductions we discussed why we had come that night. One white man spoke
about how people were dying and it was time to put a stop to it. An
African-American woman objected that the term “people” was too generic. Young
black men were being killed by police. Her nephew had been killed by the San
Francisco police over a two-dollar ticket. The tension in the room started to
build. Another man, black, spoke about the elephant of racism. No one talks
about it yet it was there in our society and affecting his life.
I replied we would be looking at that elephant but not with our verbal, thinking mind. That part of the mind was prone to staying stuck in the same story based on judgments and preconceptions. If we used the non-verbal mind, the part that is present to “what is” in a quiet and open manner, we might assess a deeper, more felt-sense level of understanding.
I led the group through a paired exercise to demonstrate our subconscious connection with each other. Two volunteers stood a few feet apart. One person, who volunteered to be the issue holder, touched the other with the intention that the person represented a challenging person in his or her life. The issue holder started to cry. I asked her to step back a few feet. She did and stopped crying. The representative was looking down, impassive. I asked the issue holder to say to the representative, “I see you and I agree to what is.” Immediately there was shift in the energy. The representative looked up at the issue holder. They both felt better and better about each other. The verbal mind holds on to the past or fears the future, I explained to the group. Our non-verbal mind, however, is able to let go and be in the “now” that contains new insights and possibilities. Belief and experience continually reinforce each other. Switching to a non-verbal mode of thinking and experiencing is one way to breakout of that continuous loop.
After everyone experienced the impact of looking a difficulty and agreeing to “what is” we started the constellation. I had a stack of cards with words written on them that related to the dynamics of racism. We brainstormed others. I explained how trauma that occurred generations ago can affect the current generation. I had been in Israel over the New Year and attended a conference with Germans and Israelis. They had all been born after WWII yet still felt deeply burdened by the legacy of the Holocaust. Pain and guilt, anger and shame filled the room when that subject was raised. Confronting that pain and the victim/perpetrator dynamic that lived within them was emotionally overwhelming. Openly facing those intense feelings allowed a sense of wholeness and healing to emerge for both groups.
I called for our volunteers and gave each one a card. Since we were doing a blind constellation I asked them not to look at what was written on their card and just trust the sensations and feelings they felt during the process. I did this to keep us honest and preclude anyone acting how they thought they were supposed to act according to their preconceptions.
Perpetrator, Victim, Observer and Rescuer took their cards and found their places in the open space in the center of the room. Within a minute the man, a Caucasian, holding the victim card slowly went down to the floor reporting that he felt he was being split open and eviscerated. The Rescuer and Observer moved closer to him. The Perpetrator turned away and started at the wall. I asked those sitting in their chairs who were not yet participating to keep breathing and stay with the tension and discomfort in the room. The Victim may have felt bad but he was in control of what was happening and could withdrawal as a representative if the experience became too intense. I asked others, if they felt inspired, to join the representatives. One person joined the Perpetrator. Three people joined the Victim. One laying down beside him and two others standing close by. I handed each a card. One was Oppression and Humiliation. Another Cultural Expropriation. The third, Exclusion. I kept extending the invitation and others stepped in taking the cards; Africa, Benefits (from the slave system), Projecting Shadow Material on to Others, Heroes who Advocated Human Rights, Hidden Payoff, and Ancestors.
Finally, I asked the Perpetrators to turn about and face the Victims. They were unable to tell the Victims that they saw them. I put someone in to represent their Mother. At first they were distant. I asked the Mother to tell the Perpetrators she always had a place for them in her heart and would be there for them no matter what. Gradually, the Perpetrators moved closer to their Mother. They still looked confused, disorientated and in pain. In a low voice, held by their Mother they were finally able to tell the Victims that they saw them and their suffering. The Victims reported they felt better, lighter and more peaceful. “I did not know you were human,” One of the Perpetrators whispered. “They told me you weren’t, but I see now you have feelings like me.”
I called the participants who were still seated to come stand as group where they could best see the constellation. They were representing American society. “We see what happened and how you suffered,” I asked them to say. “And we won’t forget you and your suffering.” I asked two young women in the group to represent the Future. Maybe someday in the future this issue would be considered resolved and other concerns would be a priority. I asked them to tell the people caught up in the issue they would not forget them and their suffering and to have faith that the future would be a better place. Bringing the constellation to a close I asked the representatives to look at the cards and share their experiences with the larger group. The feelings they felt and the impulses they had to move or say something were in align with the parts of the system they had been assigned. Ancestors had been just one person. She went back and forth between distain for the victims and compassion and concern. My sense was she alternated between the different sets of ancestors and the radically different attitudes they possessed. The representative for the Heroes who Advocated Human Rights said she was focused on and concerned about everyone and not just the victims. The woman who had been the Mother smiled and added that Martin Luther King had said he was there not to just set the Negro free but to free everyone from the chains of prejudice.
The woman whose nephew had been killed by police spoke. She had once seen a cage where slaves were kept. Now she saw that everyone was in that cage no matter what role they played. Everyone was hurting and diminished in some way by slavery and its legacy. In the closing circle people stood beaming at each other. They had been willing to experience something that was upsetting. Behavioral science tells us people are hardwired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Yet the participants chose to go through this process. In return, they came away with a deeper insight into the dynamics of slavery and its impact on our society. Acknowledging what happened and agreeing to “what is” would not bring education and jobs to the inner cities. But it just might be a small step towards releasing the “frozen past” from the collective unconscious that underlies the social patterns of hopelessness and violence.
